My mind has been nothing but a cluster fuck for the past few weeks. I haven’t been able to focus on anything. I try to pull one clear thought from my brain and an overflow of mishmash comes pouring out instead… I blame my upcoming wedding.

I knew planning a wedding was going to be stressful but damn, I feel like I’m losing my mind! There’s only about six weeks left until I say I do and although everything is pretty much all set and ready to go, I still feel like the prep work is never ending. Plus, add on the excitement and butterflies and it all makes me feel like i’m going to crack…

I hate to say it but I just can’t wait for it all to be over! Then I can get back to a normal non eventful life… Society puts so much pressure on weddings. Even if your a no body from upstate New York you still feel the need to make this day perfect… not for you and your significant other but for everyone else. We can all say how much we DO NOT care about what others think of us but we all know that’s a bunch of bullshit. See I could really care less about how fancy or big my wedding is. I just want to be Cliff’s wife… all the other things are irrelevant.

But, none the less we decided to go with a small wedding, which is fine… So i got the pretty dress and booked a venue. And then came the headaches… your wedding is supposed to be a happy time, not a time when you feel like throwing up and saying fuck it while boarding the next grey hound to your happy elopement.

I’m hoping for the best. I’ve put a lot of hard work in to this “dream” wedding. I won’t let anything rain on my glitter parade. I mean it’s supposed to be one of the best moments of my life right? I’ll have my man, my son and all my friends and family with me, that’s all that really matters. Then it’ll be off to the beach for a week of rest and relaxation and mucho amounts of wine. So all in all I guess it’s really not that bad… but bitching makes me feel better 🙂